Rhyme & Reason

 

                The Great Village Bake Off !

                                                                                       

" Guess what ? Guess what ? " said an excited I’mapig2, as she burst into Moonpig's clubhouse one sunny afternoon... ( this was getting to be a habit. )

" I wish you'd to knock ! before you come into the clubhouse, " Grimaced Moonpig". " I might be doing ...er...something...um important & I could lose my concentration. "

APigCanFly quickly jumped off Moonpig's lap.

" Sorry :(  " replied Ima looking a little puzzled. " What are you two up to anyway ? continued Imapig2.

" Nothing !..nothing at all " grumbled Moonpig wiping lipstick off his cheeks. " I was just giving my V/P a er...mumble mumble . "

APigCanFly was enjoying listening to Moonpig's explanation & quickly put her feather duster down.

" I'll try & remember to knock next time before I come in. " apologised Imapig2 looking a little dejected.

 Moonpig waved 'The Matter' away with his trotter, like that ( ~~~ ) , hoping she wouldn't notice a feather duster slipping to the floor out of 'his' other trotter .  

" You were all excited when you came bursting in-side, " APigCanFly commented,   " so what's happened ? "

Imapig2 became all excited again as she explained to her two 'bestest friends', how MommyDear had noticed there was a Village baking competition advertised on the Village Hall Board & had encouraged her to get a form & fill it out & send it off.                                                                                   " My Mommy says I should have a go, since my cul-in-ary skills are improving in 'Leaps & Bounds'" Ima smiled, " so I got me a form to fill in & send off. "

" Hmm " said Moonpig, thinking out loud, " Is there a prize for the winner ? " he quizzed.

" Does there 'Really' have to be a prize to interest you...in ...Anything ? " APigCanFly quickly broke into the conversation, tutting in disbelief.

Moonpig frowned at his 'beloved Vice President' before continuing.." Well I was just thinking it would be a good incentive 'my dear' for anyone to..er.. give of their best, so to speak, don't you think ? " He was obviously trying to keep in APigCanFly's 'good books'.

Both pigs turned to Imapig2 & said in unison " Well ? "

Imapig2, went on to explain that there was indeed a Prize for the winner, along with trophy cups for the first three.

 " I think I might give it a go myself." Moonpig smiled. " So what are you going to cook ? "

" Wee~ll " began Ima, " I might....Just a minute, if I tell you what I'm cooking, you'll try & do something to 'out shine' me, so it will have to be a surprise . "

" What do you mean ? Mee....CHEAT !!!. How OUT-rageous ! of course I wouldn't.

Imapig2 was shocked by Moonpig's SHOUTING !! & didn't like it one little bit. Her chin began to wobble ~~, but before she started to cry, APigCanFly quickly stepped in 'stemming' Moonpig's outburst calming her down with distracting questions as to who else would be joining in etc; etc;

" Weeeelll ," began Ima    ( instantly stopping her wobbling chin ), there were five other names down on the list so far." & she began chattering away.

Moonpig's eyes began to roll as he tutted to himself. " Think I'll put my name down, I am a Very Good 'Connoisseur' ( expert judge in matters of taste ).

" I've got an extra form. " Imapig2  said pulling two forms from out of her 'skin pocket' & giving Moonpig one. I downloaded them off the internet. " You need to fill it in & send it off."

" I know, I know ! " boomed Moonpig.

As the day drew near to the Bake Off, Imapig2 practised her baking skills & tried the cakes on her mommy, who gave her words of encouragement & advise.  "Try a little more butter dear " or  " Less milk " she would say, until she got it perfect. ( Well, almost ).

All the while Moonpig was in his kitchen, throwing knives up in the air as he practised 'his' culinary skills. " What one needs is 'Fresh Produce' & loads of different flavours to entice the judges taste buds." said Moonpig to himself.

" Today's the Day " said MommyDear, waking up Imapig2 from her sleep, " I hope you had pleasant dreams. "

All contestants congregated up on the village hill. ( where the car boot had been earlier in the year ). A large Marquee had been set up with each contestant being given a oven, worktop, mixing bowl, in fact, everything needed to make their cakes or other 'delights'.

" Right ! Are you ready ?? On your marks !! Start Baking !!! " bellowed one of the judges. " You have two hours to produce your best cakes & pies ect;"                                                     Everyone began to prep their mixtures. Everyone busied themselves, weighing out the flour or whatever else they were presenting to the judges in two hours from now, hoping to win first prize & a trophy cup.

Moonpig was in his corner slicing away, throwing his knives in the air & catching them firmly in his trotters to the delight of on-lookers. " ooOOOoo !... Haaah ..." they went    "Now, now ! " said one of the judges, be careful there ! Pride comes before a fall  you know & you're being judged on your culinary skills, not your 'circus' performance. " ,!, that put him in his place as he continued to prepare his 'dish'. The onlookers were guided out of the marquee. Moonpig poured his concoction into a large mixing bowl, adding his 'secret ingredients. Finally pouring the mixture into a large round baking tin & putting it in to a preheated oven. While that was cooking he began making the topping & decorations.

Imapig2 put her ingredients into the mixing bowl, flour, sugar, butter, eggs, & a little milk ( splosh ! ) Opps ! maybe a little too much. " Never mind " she thought & added extra flour to dry the mixture out a little. Next she added currants to the mixture & scooped ten tablespoons out onto a baking tray, Then popped them in the oven to cook. Realising she'd forgot to preheat the oven. " Better put the oven up an extra number to com-pen-sate. " again she thought smiling to herself for having used her little brain :).

Meanwhile, APigCanFly ( who had also filled in a form ), was busy in her designated area with Strawberries,Vanilla flavouring, sugar, Large wooden sticks, & more sugar. She began mashing up the fruit & adding the vanilla & sugar, whizzing it up in the stainless steel drum. Whirr !  whirr ! went the machine. Beautiful aromatic aromas came 'wafting' out of the drum & APigCanFly dampened the the wooden sticks ready to begin the next process.

Dolly, Kevin, Millie, Molly, Clive, Candy, & Floss were also busy in cooking their entries for the Great Village Bake Off.    

                                            Time passed.....

The clock was ticking ( Tick ! Tock ! Tick ! Tock ! ) Suddenly a deafening voice was heard together with a fog horn sound... " Alright...Times up..Stop Cooking !  "   

" Wow !, that time went quick. "said Moonpig sweating profusely.                                                                               " Yes ...agreed everyone else. " putting down their cooking implements.                                                                                                       Now it was the judges turn to do their job. One by one the contestants brought their dishes or plates up to the front table for them to be judged.

  APigCanFly's strawberry candy flosses were tasted. The judges whispered in low oinks together, marking points out of ten, before passing on to other dishes. Kevin & Dolly's were marked next. The judges giving nothing away.

Moonpig's cake was next to be tasted & judged." Hmm ! Beautifully decorated. Is that real butterflies on top ? said one judge, as another cut into it. " Unusual texture " said another. " But very light & er.. ( crunchy ) munched the other judge. With heads together they murmured to each other before writing marks down on the clip-board. 

Molly & Millie's were next to be tasted. ( Hmm ! not quite 'got it' ) Clive, Candy & Flosses were next in line for judging. ( Hmm !  something to think about )

Finally Imapig2's ( the youngest competitor ) was being judged..                       " A little dry & over cooked. " whispered one of the judges.                           " Slightly on the 'heavy' side. " said another.    " But a very good attempt. " said the final judge, as they tasted & 'chewed' the Rock cakes.

The judges retired to make their decisions as to whose was the best, therefore winning the competition.                                       

The contestants were on 'tender hooks' all hoping that theirs would be the winning one.                                                                                        Ten minutes later, the judges lined up all the entries in order, as to what they had decided were the best. All gathered around as the winner was announced :                                                                                                     In first place..... Molly & her Duck a l'orange.  ( Exquisite ).                      In second place... Kevin with his Cornish pasties. ( Scrumptious ).                 In third place..... Moonpig with his cake ,  Decorated butterflies on top. Inside   were his  Scarab beetles & DriedTermites.  ( Hmm! unusual ).                                             

In fourth place... Clive with his Bread & butter pudding. ( Quite...er nice ).         In fifth place....Candy with her Fish & chips. ( just like the village chippy...hmm )                                                                        

In sixth place..... Imapig2 with her Rock cakes. ( a little over cooked ).            In seventh place.. APigCanFly with her Strawberry / vanilla candy floss. ( not too difficult )..                                                            

In eighth place...  Floss with her Beans on toast. ( bread a bit burnt ).                                                                                                       In ninth place....  Dolly with her Rainbow jelly ( not quite set )..  & finally,...                                                                             In tenth place....  Millie with tomato & basil soup. ( spotted tin in waste bin )..   

Okay ! Line up everyone to collect your prize & cups. So, Molly had a Thousand pd money prize, along with a gold trophy cup. Kevin was given a silver trophy cup & Moonpig was given a bronze trophy cup. The other seven received a rosette each. With the ceremony over, the crowds watching all cheered.

" Well, what a let down. " groaned Moonpig.                                                 " But you got a cup to stick on your shelf, Moony " replied Imapig2, " APigCanFly & I, only got rosettes. "                                                               " It's not the winning, it's the taking part what counts. " APigCanFly feigned.                                                                          " Oh, well, never mind, lets share the food between us & wash it down with some drinks from the pub." Ima suggested, " but I don't think I'll..er..deprive you of 'Your' cake Moony."    

" Humph ! " complained Moonpig, you don't know what you're missing. " 

The End .