A Lymerick poem called ' Boat '

Three litle pigs

They sat down..one each end

The three pigs

the other sat straight in the middle ,

You can guess who that was

'cos very soon he said.. 'Soz !'

will have to go in the bush for a piddle!

Ima' turned to her friends

when Moonpig re-appeared

quite relieved was he now, looking normal

She said, " I 've got something, to show you my friends

APigCanFly said " That sounds quite abnormal "

Ima' said to the two

" Listen quietly please do

Listen please

I've got something to tell you important,

" We're all ears " Moonpig said

" Please tell us we beg "

and the two listened quietly concordant.

" Well I know I can't fly,so I thought I would try

to do something quite different instead

so I bought this old boat 

from off an old goat

What you're gonna use for fuel ?

to try racing along the river bed !!

" What you gonna use for fuel.... you fool " 

said Moonpig all of a quiver

" Will use my corn oil "

 replied Imapig2

Then 'storm up & down' on the river.

" Don't think that sounds good,

Don't think that you should,

What will Mommy Dear say " APigCanFly added.

"Oh ! she doesn't need to know

I'll just 'get up & go'

will make sure I'm very well padded. " ( said Ima' )

So Imapig2, padded up and got in the boat

with  cushions from Mommy Dear's home.

the boat too was padded ,

 to make it more safe , Imapig2 added

they'd lined with some paper & foam

" Cast off ! " shouted Moony

" Imapig2's quite looney

what's behind all of this ? " said he,

" hold your horses...three meal courses

red or black sauces,

while I go in the bush for a Pee !

Whirr ! went the boat

Glug ! glug ! was the note

as the boat tried to do ...as was told

" There's a hole in the bottom

I think it is rotten "

Ima' said getting all wet & quite cold.

She was hauled out the boat

crying " This is no joke,

just wait 'til I see that old goat "

" What will you do ?

 will you turn him to Glue ? "

said her two bestest friends. 

laughing out.

Soon have you dry

Her two bestest friends

took Ima back home

sneaked into the kitchen - to dry her

They fetched a big towel

Ima started to howl

as they rubbed her all over

near the fire

" What will we do

with these soggy wet cushions ? "

her two piggy friends said together

" We'll give them a spin

let's fling them both in 

& peg them all out in fine weather "

Must have a ...pee !

So that's what they did

each pig got a peg

& hung them both out on the line  

Moonpig said " 'scuse me

must go for a ' wee ' "

to the toilet he made a Bee-line

" What's wrong with Moonpig "asked Imapig2

" he's been going a lot to the loo ! "

" I think he's been drinking ,

that's what I am thinking

now he's paying the price, wouldn't you ? "

" WHAT'S ALL THE COMMOTION "

burst in Mommy Dear now ,

what's my best cushions doing

hanging up there ? "

" We thought we would wash them

beause we did er.. squash them "

said Moonpig appearing to care."

A plug of an old goat !

" & what's all this nonsense I hold in my trotters

a plug of some sort I'ts quite old ,

It was off an old goat,

'said it was for that boat

that you bought off him 

so I was told ? ".. (" WELL ")

Two piggies went ...RED

the other...DARK GREEN

The three were all of a tremble

Imapig2 cried

" It was a Surprise ! 

A present for you

to assemble 

"
It started sinking "

We thought we should try it 

before we did buy it 

to make it quite safe for your journey,

but without the round plug in

it started...well sinkin' "

said Imapig2 looking all squirmy

" Is that! why it sank ? "

APigCanFly said looking blank

Mommy Dear was looking quite stern,

" I don't believe  a word....

it's all quite absurd.

Shall we start with Moonpig...It's you're turn "

Nothing to do with... ME !

" Gulp ! "

" It wasn't MY idea.."

began Moonpig " I fear "

he said.. looking all ' scrunched ' in the face

" APigCanFly..you might try,

must go to the loo now..bye bye "

& over the hill he did race.

APigCanFly's turn it was..

for the ' truth ' now because

not me either

Mommy Dear was getting impatient

" Wasn't my idea either'

you could ask the bee there "

replied APigCanFly feeling complacent

With that she flew off

leaving Ima behind

to face Mommy Dear on her own

" Well what have you to say ,

 did it happen that way ? 

cos those friends of yours have both flown ? "

" Of course it is true ,

would I lie to you ? "

said Ima with all trotters crossed

Mommy Dear looked dumbfounded

" Right then you are now ' grounded '

Two weeks from now, that's the cost

Hits rock bottom

And so end's the day

with no boat , come what may

'xcept a plug & some chain in a trotter

& Imapig2

feeling dejected...wouldn't you ?

And the boat sitting low in the water

Hows Zat !     by Imapig2